Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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