Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive

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(727): View more from Florida

Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus

Fav 17 3169 1009
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.

Fav 24 6212 850
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(502): View more from Kentucky

new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home

Fav 25 7330 1246
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(770): View more from Georgia

I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.

Fav 17 5338 1355
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?

Fav 5 4115 1268
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(214): View more from Texas

Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.

Fav 11 4485 2001
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(207): View more from Maine

Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.

Fav 0 69 13
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(316): View more from Kansas

I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”

Fav 0 131 11
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