she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
