Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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