Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
