sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
