turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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