she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
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He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
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I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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