she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
