Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
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