I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
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I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
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Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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