I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
