Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
