This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
