I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
