i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
