What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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