I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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