you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
