If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
