We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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