I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
