Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
