I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
