Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
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You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
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I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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