i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
me + whiskey = a bad person
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
