I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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