I seem to have left my pride at pride
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Randomize
