Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
