no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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