There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Duck Duck Cougar?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
