Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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