I got chris browned last night
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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