and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
