Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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