At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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