Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
