What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
