very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
