If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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