so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
