I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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