I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
She is in my trunk
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
