whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
