Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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