We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
