why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
