I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
