How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
