sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
