did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
