This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
