can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
two words...techno handjob
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Is it penis luge time yet?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
