oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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