how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
