we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
