no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize