i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
