You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
