Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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