even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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