I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
