Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
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