Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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