Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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