What tipped you off? The sombrero?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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