Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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