I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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