I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize