why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
